Looking for a frienship and possibly more in parepare
As a young adult, it often feels like you don't even have to think about how to make friends. You've got college classes full of peers, a seemingly never-ending social calendar, and you never find it difficult to strike up a conversation with a stranger in a bar. Fast forward a few decades , however, and things aren't quite so simple. Managing the day-to-day family unit is tough enough, let alone trying to find time to squeeze in a social life. Evidently, making and keeping friends as an adult has also gotten harder. According to researchers at Duke University and the University of Arizona , American adults reported having approximately one less friend in than the same demographic had just two decades earlier.
When I read or hear any variation of the above quotes, I cringe and die a little inside. Why have we become people who willingly and voluntarily allow someone else to control the state of our happiness? A relationship is not meant to make you happy. To put an expectation on someone else that their commitment to you is a commitment to keep you in a constant state of happiness, is fucking lunacy. A person is not your other or better half. A man or woman is not a BFF pendant, where they have the other half of your heart. Our happiness or our wholeness is not outside of ourselves.
If you are having a hard time making friends, there could be a few reasons why you are not establishing relationships with others. First, making new friends can be difficult, especially if you've recently found yourself in a new city or even with a new set of life circumstances. Developing a bond with someone takes time.
Take action and your feelings will change. Paul and I had been acquaintances for eight years. When I opened the door to his office one afternoon to offer our usual casual hello, an alchemical change packed a walloping charge through my body.